A month after it was written AKA the pleasures of living in the middle of nowhere

Armando Emilio Guebuza, the president of Mozambique, is sleeping in my bed...

Perhaps that's not QUITE true. The Prez and his posse are coming to Catandica either next week or the week after. There's one main pensão (pretty much the Mozambican equivalent of motel) here with about 5 rooms, not sufficient for Guebuza's gang.
Last week, there was a meeting of all the teachers who live in the 12 school houses (that are technically outside of school grounds, but that doesn't stop students from coming over at all hours of the day). Because the school and school housing are so spiffy, we've been asked to give up a bedroom in our houses for the week of the visit so that an ambassador or official of some sort can stay there. I volunteered my room from our house because Lindsay has 2 mattresses. The school director, a really nice, short man, asked if any of the houses had problems, especially in the rooms in which the ambassadors will be sleeping. They're trying to fix them all well to impress the folks.
O Senhor Director asked me directly if I had an problems with my bed. Being unsure, I said, “Vamos ver esta noite.” What I MEANT to say was that I would check that night. What I ACTUALLY said, in Portuguese, was not quiiiiite that, as shown by the peals of laughter emitted by my colleagues. Were I in America, I would have been violating many a sexual harassment law by propositioning my boss. Oops!
When Guebuza comes to visit, it's going to be a week-long festa. I don't know what the president will do in Catandica for an entire week, but I'm going to find out. I've been told that school will be canceled for the week, and I'm sure there will be fancy parties at the Governor's and Administrator's houses, to which I'm hoping to get invitations.
If he comes in 2 weeks, his visit will coincide with two important events: 25 de Junho, which is Mozambican Independence Day, and June 27, the day of the second election in Zimbabwe. For Independence Day, I'm sure there will be dancing and singing and lots of excitement. For the Zimbabwe election, I just hope that things happen peacefully and for the best. There are Zimbabwean money changers who hang out in the villa. What an unpleasant job now! To buy a chicken dinner, you would need about a grocery bag full of Zimbabwean dollars, and the price at the start of dinner might not be the price you pay at the end.

Catandica is full of fruits and vegetables... at least those that are in season now (tangerines, pineapples, apples, bananas, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, etc). Just for the heck of it, Lindsay and I decided a few weeks ago to try to go a week eating only the fresh fruits and vegetables. No oil, no spices, no sugar, nothing but fruits and vegetables.
Day 1: 5 bananas, 5 tangerines, attempt at making a salad dressing using only lime juice, garlic, and piri-piri (really hot peppers), and an intense desire to bite my own arm.
Day 2: Lots of water, 5 bananas, 5 tangerines, naked salad (due to the canker sores in my mouth brought on by the “salad dressing” and the fact that the “salad dressing” tasted like garlic-y battery acid), and a bit of a cranky attitude.
Day 3: Decided I needed to change the rules a little bit. Added eggs and allowed myself a teeny bit of salt. Eggs, vegetables, and lots more fruit.
Day 4: CHEGA! After the fourth kid came over before 8 am (not a great way to start off the day), I decided I had had enough of that and had a granola bar.

Because I live just outside the school grounds, everybody knows where I live (not that they wouldn't anyways... I'm just more accessible to the students here), and students and neighborhood kids are always stopping at our house or hanging out in front of our gate. Sometimes, it's great. I can play frisbee with the meninos (little boys/ kids) or work with them on the alphabet. Or we can have an impromptu Mozambican dance party with the students who are walking by.
On the other hand, it is often NOT quite so pleasant. When they get to the house (if we're not visible... for example, if I'm taking a nap in my room), they stand at the door/ front gate and instead of knocking or ringing the door bell, they say “Com licença” or just “licença” over and over until you're so fed up from hearing them say “licença” that you answer the door... I've had students “licença” me for 15 minutes (that would that nap to which I was referring... my curtain was open just enough so that I'm sure the kid could see me laying on my bed. That's generally where I hang out waiting to leap up at the first “licença”... So just to spite him, I didn't budge. Not particularly nice, but I'm not an all-night diner- I am not, in fact, available all the time.

On our walk into the villa, the kids who live along that road have become accustomed to walking with us, playing with us, and talking to us as we walk. The part closest to the school has most of our favorites, the ones of whom I have lots of pictures. After that, there are the “HELLO” kids. When they hear or see us coming, they say “hello” incessantly in different voices. There are about 10 or 15 of them, and sometimes the “hellos” can last 2 or 3 minutes straight. After the “hello” kids, there are a bunch of houses set back a bit from the street. We don't know those kids so well, but they, of course, still shout out to us. Generally, it's just “How are you?” or something in Portuguese. In the past few weeks, there have been 2 pretty significant deviations from that. The first was a chorus of “F*** you”s... probably 3 kids shouting that out as we walked by. They had no idea what they were saying, and it was pretty hilarious! The second was just the other day. I was walking by and heard one of them shout out: “Don't touch me!” I can't wait to find out what other English they have stashed away.
After the expletive group, there's a 2-year-old girl with a voice high enough to function as a dog whistle who shrieks “Howareyou” repeatedly when she sees us. Other favorites are the “How is my your name?” kids and the little girl who we had never seen wearing a shirt until a couple weeks ago.
Less than a month until my mom makes the big trip to Africa on July 10. I'm super excited about that, but due to the excessive amount I've already written, I'll save it for next time. Até já!

Considering that TODAY is July 10, I clearly haven't gotten to the city in quite some time. I'll have quite a bit to add about the past month while my mom and I are traveling!